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Soul Searching

by J Pope and the HearNow

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1.
I know I tend to mess things up And sometimes life with me gets tough But you stay holding on I don’t know why you stay It seems my actions do repeat My heart is strong, but my flesh is weak And your pain seems to outweigh happy days But I am ready to put it all on the table You just don’t seem willing or able To understand if this something that we should change I cant keep asking questions or second guessing I’ve learned the lesson that love is life And life is not a game Life is not a game So Here is the start Of a long tomorrow If it’s destined that we part I pray That the world won’t The world won’t I pray it won’t fall apart I pray it won’t fall apart I pray it won’t fall apart I hope the world don’t fall apart I hope it won’t fall apart I pray it won’t fall apart Promises were made Emotions led to words exchanged And your name was etched, lightly just, slightly on the edge of my heart And there are others resting there Potential loves that went nowhere And they stare back at me When the black dog’s on my back What are building on but dreams What does I love you really mean If we knew this thing was destined to be dead right from the start I cant keep asking questions or second guessing I’ve learned the lesson that love is life And life is not a game Life is not a game So Here is the start Of a long tomorrow, a long tomorrow If it’s destined that we part I pray The world won’t fall I pray it won’t fall apart I pray it won’t fall apart I hope it won’t fall apart I pray it won’t fall apart I pray it won’t fall I hope it don’t fall I know it won’t fall I know it won’t I know it won’t fall apart I awaken to the placement of an angel on my pillowcase whose glow embraces the lashes of my eyes Reflect the tears that hide as I realize the sunset begins Repeat the cycle, friend, lover, lost friend and when I reached out to touch the halo is when she pulled me in Lost in divinity it rendered me useless and then took my pen and formed stanzas in the image of him as all poured through me the anointing of my muse within her purpose served a break deserved we parted ways I’d send smoke signals just to remember how I breathed her in It felt as good as sin to virgin flesh but even with her parting I am still not less I am that much more cause I had her pour through me, I am that much more just because I knew her beauty I was a part of her duty to awake the world and dawn a change change change change Listen I’m just tryna change the world And she just trying to break my heart repeat to end
2.
Trying to be divine in a world designed for blind thinkers Where the believers and dreamers sometimes forget that they can fly Until they stretch their wings and soar high just at right time Still they don’t know why They wonder why They’re still searching, searching for their souls Trying to make peace with all the pieces that make them whole They’ve been looking high and low But they’re still searching for their souls, searching for their souls Same womb, different spirits, one mind Gemini defined by space, place, and rhyme Could make a dollar grow about a million times Or grow without a dollar in her pocket The shine was magnetic Whoever didn’t have it had to get it Energy was kinetic Existence was prophetic Living in every moment Just like it was a blessing Never listening to the doubt the darkness suggested She flourished Soul was well nourished Walking in her purpose and the sacrifice was worth it She was a daydreamer Strove for perfection Lived it like she felt it, so rejection was a lesson It seemed to lessen the likelihood she would repeat it Fertile ground seeded made her transition seamless Walks amidst the monsters unscathed Seemed they had her tamed cause they never knew her name Only knew her by the mask that she chose to claim So she wears the mask Why shes still searching for her soul Trying to make the peace with all the pieces that make her whole Shes been looking high and low But shes still searching for her soul Searching for her soul Same womb, different spirits, one mind Gemini defined by space, place, and rhyme Could make a dollar grow about a million times Or grow without a dollar in her pocket The shine was magnetic Whoever didn’t have it had to get it Energy was kinetic Existence was prophetic Living in every moment Just like it was a blessing Never listening to the doubt the darkness suggested She flourished Soul was well nourished Walking in her purpose and the sacrifice was worth it She was a daydreamer Strove for perfection Lived it like she felt it, so rejection was a lesson It seemed to lessen the likelihood she would repeat it Fertile ground seeded made her transition seamless Walks amidst the monsters unscathed (to end)
3.
Stranger things have happened Than falling in love at hello or losing a bit of control at The mention of your name I know stranger things have happened But not to me Virgin to the darkside Her eyes invite me leisurely We rise and fall no stress enjoying the scenery Suddenly she squeezing me Stressing my intentions Yo she took me how I came at first Forgot to mention love was a possibility ignoring the fragility of hearts And now we are back to the start where love was lost cause love is birthed without thought Increased risky indiscretions where common sense ain’t a blessing and ignorance be caressing your spirit you can’t feel it why not lie if your consciousness is not tied to truth whos checking for you Stranger things have happened Than falling in love at hello or losing a bit of control at The mention of your name I know stranger things have happened But not to me Deep sighs and red eyes The guilt keeps me running Praying for redemption From a past that is hung in remembrance of me Sometimes she burns an effigy Daily manipulation Constantly berating conversations Breaking my spirit And I can’t even hear when God is calling my name Cause she stay demanding my praise And somehow I lose myself And it’s the strangest thing To go from grounded to floundering Blindly in doubt With no way out I’m finding she’s my only way out When escaping was suggested Her love became a lesson To remember the blessings of these strange and beautiful things THese strange and beautiful things But sometimes I wonder if Stranger things have happened Than falling in love at hello or losing a bit of control at The mention of your name I know stranger things have happened But not to me (2x) (Ad-lib to end)
4.
Confusion 05:32
Beats, life, Son’s light, I strike the iron while the fire is hot Get caught in the middle of this riddle called life With my back to the edge of a knife That's right when I understand the reflection of the man whose hand is reaching in my pot But all the understanding under God’s blue sky wont make me give an inch that I got Cause I bled for it Jumped in and I fought currents That were pushing me back to the start Every inch is a stitch in the heart And you just trying to make the end of the race You just trying to keep pace We are living in the world of uncertainty But it’s alright You just gotta find your solid ground We’re living in a world of uncertainty But it’s alright *Guitar Solo* Beats, life, Son’s light, I strike the iron while the fire is hot Get caught in the middle of this riddle called life With my back to the edge of a knife That’s right when I understand the reflection of the man whose hand is reaching in my pot But all the understanding under God’s blue sky won’t make me give an inch that I got Cause I bled for it Jumped in and I fought currents That were pushing me back to the start Every inch is a stitch in the heart And you just trying to make the end of the race You just trying to keep pace We are living in the world of uncertainty But it’s alright You just gotta find your solid ground We’re living in a world of uncertainty But it’s alright Trigger finger itch the barrel smokes I choke And feel the pressure of the world at the back of my throat I spit a whisper with the wattage of a million hopes It burned fast and fell slow Like the life of a dope fiend Fade and lean with a cardboard grin Eyes cloudy from distractions of what’s happening They got armed dollar signs stacking bodies to the sky And everybody is in line for a piece of the pie They all say they hate it but few fight to change it They walk around naked like the garment is degrading Never understanding the Image that we were made in We are Kings, Queens, Kings, Queens, Gods
5.
Posturing and threatening they questioning my right to be Man, well let them come For me or my people And watch the upheaval rain down Just let them come Can’t stand in the shadows much longer The battle is getting warmer Let them come, let them come Just let them come For me What Ima stand here waiting on a war cry While the choppers circle round in my red sky Fly ashes swear, dashes The discourse is no more we passing on to another dawn similar to past lives IF you knew your history then you could probably transcribe what’s happening down to the millisecond The Revolution’s a revolution its ever present and steady on a constant stream the only thing that ever changes are the hues on screen The same scenes come through on the local news it ain’t the German Shepherds now, it’s the principals, and the pastors too and the local crew And the mother, cousin, grandmother, closest to you They got a whole generation of some new strange fruit thinking they martyrs for a birthright Dying while their lights bright Well let them come Let them come (4x) Just let them come Just let them come for me We looking at our leaders like who the fuck elected you Acting like he aint a man Man that’s just what the power do And all the checks and balances haven’t been adding up Considering the factors these actors are runners up For the longest running show in the history of the time We class climbing to the bottom while they keeping us blind My only focus in this world is trying to go for mine But I hope you get yours Good luck I need more and more and more and more and more and more Of all the shit that don’t matter fill me up son I had to get my glass house shattered to realize the magic trick Rights scattered the fight’s on we bout to get down We bout to get down (repeat to chorus) Posturing and threatening they questioning my right to be Man, well let them come For me or my people And watch the upheaval rain down Just let them come Can’t stand in the shadows much longer The battle is getting warmer Let them come, let them come
6.
Spaz Out 05:11
Verse 1 See the grimace Label me a menace to society And every step I take big brother has his eye in me That's why I walk quietly and keep to self Stay just under the radar they call me stealth Control is hard to keep when you see what I live I push an 80 hour shift With no bucks to give And that's just enough to touch the bottom of the bucket of a 100 foot well that I say fuck it just Take what you need for you seed to succeed Break ground find sun and fresh air to breathe To meet your basic need is God given right That's why bees get stingers and birds get flight We fight to oppose our foes and to protect our food we know that anything goes Forget what you were told about maintaining civility If violence was so wrong why were we given the ability So I'm volunteering we to stabilize humanity and spaz out, spaz out, spaz out Hook Get free, get free get free Spaz out, spaz out, spaz out Get free x5 Verse 2 We been partying too long In the basement with the res lights and slow songs So long that we ain't saying nothing different Finally got the world to listen and this is what we give them Yeah we 'living' not to worry everything's ok We're all in love Oversexed Buying platinum chains Putting rims on the range Poverty it ain't a thing Yo don't worry everything's ok While we stuck in the basement our communities decay The same ones buying your albums don't everyday Music ain't for play Verses are for change And taking when you can't negotiate a way We stay making money being corporate slaves Instead of being the voice of what the people want to say What they pray when they kneel at the end of the day So the conditions stay the same Here's your chain Never change Elevated think thinking ain't a weakness It's the strength that stays Honor the ways, Push against the cage and spaz out Hook Get free, get free get free Spaz out, spaz out, spaz out Get free x5
7.
Verse 1 Small signs of life Slowly climbing out this hole I’m in And my sight Narrow-Focused The smoke clears and I peer Straight in the Son Lost in this fight I’m holding onto all I know But my grip is slipping And I’m giving into what I fought against I’m falling right into the mold Chorus When we we get tired Of living in this lie Of living in the land of the lost When will we get tired Of living in this lie Living in the land of the lost Bridge Living in the land of the lost Prehistoric origins Foraging for familiar faces In a sea of strangers Looking for danger trying to get a high Fist pounding cages trying to get by Instead of trying to get free Inverted intelect, perverted priorities And everybody’s trying to live amongst the stars now When each of is is a universe Curse whatever don’t reflect your divinity Goddess - too blessed to recognize the enemy Even when some times In the end It’s really me Verse 2 They always try To keep you grounded so you never realize you can fly Stuck circling your purpose Always focused on the talons trying to pierce your light But baby you were born for this fight Blessed Archetype Is it a wonder that they fear you ways You awakening to who you truly are you are you are you are’ Chorus When we we get tired Of living in this lie Of living in the land of the lost When will we get tired Of living in this lie Living in the land of the lost
8.
Still Here 03:46
Verse Don’t you let them forget I was here I was more than a name and the sum of all my fears and faults I was love, I was light, I was wrong, I was right When you look at my life I hope you see the fight And remember - that I was here Chorus Because after the darkest of nights The sweetest of mornings comes And I am never can it was a transition Know I was here I was here Verse Repeats Chorus Repeats
9.
How Long? 05:24
Verse Natural like the moon pulls the sea Just like the breeze blowing through the trees You are my final destiny Breath of fresh air when you're with me From the black in your skin To the brown in your eyes To the curve in your step Has my soul hypnotized I will never let go I will never let go Chorus Not one minute no Not one second no Not one minute no Verse Gravity shifts and she doesn't see the how why There is no point in explanations The distance has grown to wide We only orbit each other's existence Misplaced interests leaves us strained So we float like dandelions in the wind What remains is the pain And they got the audacity to ask me how long I’m gon’ stay once the love is gone I tell the not one Not one minute not one Chorus Not one minute no Not one second no Not one minute no Verse And it don't take whiskey to remember how quickly we passed the flags Burning red Focused on love instead Pillows beneath heads eyes buried in the sand Redefining forever Disproving that it could last past now Love stories with familiar ends Repeated cycles Friend, lover, lost friend We bend time backwards in our minds Reaching for the lines we crossed when we were blind Questioning the things we would have changed What would we keep the same My vote would be to leave before our hearts got stained And things got strained They asking me How long I’ll stick around once the love is gone I tell them baby I'm gone

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released June 16, 2017

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J Pope and the HearNow Baltimore, Maryland

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